This is the English translation of an article written in Romanian from Trilema. Enjoy!
That Sarah Silverman1 mongoloid who upon hearing that a 70 year old dude is donating a 100 million dollars to Mitt Romney, in the hopes of ridding misfortunate country of a ridiculous monkey, figured out all on her own while being "edgy and "creative" she made an equally ludicrous video clip in which she proposes that if instead of giving Mitt Romney the money, the dude gives it to the monkey instead shes gonna...shes gonna... well not fuck him, shes too lame for that but...
I hope you realize, Id like to see her die of hunger, dicks moron. But, as that's terribly unlikely as the deplorable denizens of our colonies will eat literally anything. The only available alternative is a little festival of jokes on rape that carry her name. I don't have a hundred million dollars to give for something like that, but I offer one hundred million satoshi (comes exactly to one bitcoin) to each joke proposed by readers which is accepted as worthy of this great festival.
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From a statistical perspective, gang rape is enjoyable experience for nine people out of ten participants.
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Some say rape is not amusing. They say so, but everyone knows what they really mean.
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I found a phone number for rape assistance, some volunteers thought its a good way to embezzle some money from the public budget; but when I called they refused to help me under the pretext that "its only for the victims".
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Suppose you fuck a whore without asking permission, is it rape or theft?
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Pollen is practically speaking the plants semen. As a result, spring allergies are a sexually transmitted disease. As nobody's yet been asked whether he wants to fuck with the bushes, it follows that every spring we're being raped by the plants. How nobody still been questioned whether if her desire to fuck herself? with shrubs flow like to be in each year rape of plants. Generalized deforestation is the correct solution. Suck it environment, fuck with us we'll fuck with you!
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We were hanging out and telling jokes when some simp butted in with "hey, its not cool to make jokes about rape".
"why not?!"
"well my wife was raped last week."
"the worse for you"
"yes."
"around eight o'clock in that basement?"
"yes?!"
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A tired cunt wrote a humongous article in which she proposes the theory that one guy in 20 is a rapist just like that apodicticity, and further the fact that while the rest of know a jokes a joke, dosen't mean he knows, and thus every time a group of 20 dudes laugh at a rape joke, whats really happening is that 19 dudes are laughing at the joke and a deranged maniac has his deranged notions confirmed socially.
Therefore goes the moron on to propose, I should cease laughing at jokes that don't fit in her diminutive brain. Lest some maniac misunderstands whats going on. I was thinking for the same money she might as well not go about in short skirts, lest the same maniac misunderstands whats going on.
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Yesterday I went out to eat. All the tables in the restaurant were taken, but in the sociopath style now fashionable : tables with four and more seats blocked by one or at most two weirdos. So I choose the scariest most mousey looking chick, went up to her and asked if I can sit at her table.
As she didn't say no, I took it for a yes, ordered, and as my food came she asked for the salt. And I gave it to her.
Since she was asking for it?
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I know a young lady who had a very unhappy childhood. Around the age of 13 her father raped her. She hadn't gotten her tits yet or anything but the guy was a psychoanalyst and he was hoping the girl would kill her mother.
A woman that was in psychological counseling because she had been raped four times in seven months, the last time by an unknown number of assailants over the duration of approximately two days died.
She had cancer.
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"And then they put me in the van and.... you know."
"Did they rape you?"
"Well at first, yea."
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At the hiring interiview for a job with a great cosmococcic corporation:
"Hobbies?"
"I paint, I draw, I rape, I Velasquez, I rape, I sparkle..."
"Rape twice?"
"Only in some cases"
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I believe I am very well qualified to make jokes on rape because I know a lot of rape victims.
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Tears are the best lubricant, well excepting blood.
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I was reading a report 85,000 women were raped in England in 2006. Also in 2006 a total of 800 people were convicted for rape in England. As a practical matter, a raped woman has better chances of becoming an actress than of encountering her rapist.
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About a quarter of women like to pretend they were raped. The situation is very amusing, especially if comparing them with the other quarter that made up of women men would actually fuck.
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A Transylvanian , a Moldavian, and a rapist walk into a bar...2
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What did the trainer say to the girl that was being raped by the entire football team?
Stop throwing the game.
- You haven't heard of her theirs no reason to. Shes one of the thousands useless precious cuntlets such as this other one. [↩]
- This is funny in the locale because Romania is composed of three historical areas, the third of which also contains the capital, but has been here elided in favor of sexual innuendo. [↩]
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