Why everyone hates fetlife

By Nicole Renee

I'm cleaning out my fetlife inbox of over forty unread messages and why suffer alone? Enjoy a snapshot of my inbox or why everyone hates fucklife. Unfortunately, I haven't found a better website for connecting kinky people so I guess its a necessary evil.

27 Undecided 2d
hello dear, i saw you in the news.
are you still in timisoara?
we are a couple interested in your lifestyle and would like to meet you for a glass of wine if thats something you wish to do.
Remus and Alina

Shit, I'm in the news. I can't be seen with you drinking wine.

59M Fetishist 5d
Miss Yes_pleaase,
Firstly and foremost I have to thank you for having accepted my friend request! :)
I had a glimpse all over your pics and I found them so attractive and interesting mostly for a 26 yr old girl..(it seems you maintain quite a sort of a teenage 'aura'..appearance) I would like to have a sort of correspondence with you, if possible.
(..btw sorry for some questions here: I was wondering, perhaps, despite the fact that you claim to be a slave, if would you like to be interested in the same way about findom/femdom activity? Could you using KIK for that purpose?)

Thanks in advance for any info you will furnish to me.



Lol dude called me a 26 year old girl... but what's even more annoying is that he thinks his thoughts matter enough to write down that I 'claim' to be a slave. Oh, the links are to groups that explain what financial domination is because finding a woman to pay money to is so hard he has to seek out ones who durr can't understand the concept.

23M Dom 1w
damn hey little, just found you on here. I am new to bratislava however a dom from austria looking for some useful girls. text me !

I know what you are going to ask and no I can't lift heavy things!

38M Top 1w
Hello, interesting Slave girl is that you on this profile pic cause you look really cute and it seems you could benefit from a solid but strict guidance.....am i right or wrong.....i hope i m right.
Also it looks like you are very serious about being a part of this lifestyle and want to go further with you and your company?

What an odd & neurotic message.

28M Bull 2w
Hello! So lets go party tonight,im from portugal and i live here, and i have few girls that arw able to join too

Portugal and a few girls. Sold offer.

23M Switch 2w
are u coming in albania

Actually I do squirt across countries.

32M Switch 3w
Hello, it seems that you are in Prague now so Im thinking - would your master be interested in you being watched when you are dominated? Because that could be a lot of fun and since you are not staying here for a long time... Let me know

32M Primal 7w
Hey there you and a friend wan to go out tonight? Aka 6-8hours from now, lol

Not funny & I heard there are a few girls in Portugal(s).

26M Switch 13w
Hi, would you like to kick a man's balls ? :)

This is one of a dozen requests and all are just as annoying.

24M Dom 15w
How many cocks have you fucked?

At least he skipped over the 'where are you from'.

57M Master 37w

Thanks for accepting my friendship!

If you feel I can be of assistance, just PM me.

Master, slave and pet Trainer

He listed his credentials so if anyone's interested, please do let me know!...

Twenty-nine unopened messages and I give up. Fetlife seems to be the loser lunch table of all social media composed of socially awkward people and financial 'dommes' ready to take advantage of them. Coincidentally this describes the munches and parties we've been to with the exception of Warsaw, Vienna, and Prague.

VooDoo club in Warsaw had a gothic themed play space and huge party attendance. The space to play was lacking because of the amount of people attending; however, I had a blasty blast smoking weed outside with transsexuals (who hid their joints in broken bricks outside) and women donning strapons. The venue was also shared with middle schoolers who were attending a k-pop concert so conversation in the bathroom was not lacking.


Here I am outside of VooDoo wearing a dress from Romania, ballgag from Argentina, handcuffs from Costa Rica, cat mask from Kiev, and a purse from Minsk. If you read this blog then you know I can't make this shit up.

Vienna had the first casual BDSM cafe and bar that I have ever encountered (named SMart cafe and No Limits bar respectively). The people watching me getting my ass beat were all very pleasant and understood boundaries of scenes which made them a pleasure to spend an evening with. If they were annoying you wouldn't have been able to tell.

Prague is an honorable mention because of how massive the play space is. The party we attended was huge (literally) but not one person was worth talking to, which has never happened before - no matter how lame the party. They have a serious bdsm shop and mini dungeons composed of a working wheel, cages, stocks..etc..that will forever be worth the mention to me.

In the end, it breaks my heart that fetlife is dead and truthfully I want to be wrong. After all, it is the website that I met my Master on and a few other people I care about. So, if I am wrong and missing the party somewhere please let me know because it sure as hell isin't in my inbox.

2 Responses to “Why everyone hates fetlife”

  1. I remember I was at this one meetup thing and this girl showed me a message she got on fetlife of some reallly bad and generic poetry (so bad that I cannot recall any of it). Sad thing is I bet the guy must've spent a good 15 minutes of his life writing it out. I suppose if you're a woman it is inevitable that your inbox becomes filled with comedy gold (Or I guess also if you're an mp with auto-hello mechanisms).

    Re: websites. I dunno if yall have tried 'thecage.co' but it seems potentially promising. One thing it has over fet is that it actually allows casual user searching (with filters even!). Smaller userbase it would seem, though, but from what little I have experienced the userbase is somewhat active. Maybe in a few years it becomes a viable alternative

    • nicoleci says:

      lol exactly and he probably double the time framing his dick for the accompanying picture.

      Wow filters. No, I haven't tried - I will though! I think its worth giving fetlife a competitor. Good luck on your endeavors in the kink world.

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