1000 words a day.

This morning started like none other because no day is really that similar to the one before. I had been sleeping and dreaming of all sorts of weird things - missed final exams, a boarder check composed of only dogs, and me desperate to find the gelape. Sleep abruptly came to a stop (which caused me to wake up heart racing and desperate for air) when I heard the sound of Master's slippers flip flopping in the hallway. These days my brain takes a good minute to reconstruct reality from the dream interweb it created of my past lives and current fears. I escape into Master's room and the next fifteen minutes is spent in a joyous morning reunion. It's now late October in Budapest and the weather has just turned - making the time spent giggling and cuddling under the blankets all the better.

The topic of what I secretly refer to as the 'doin it adventure' or more publicly known as the Harem's Grand European Tour 2019 came up as a point of discussion.1 So many different things have happened in the last month of travel and so much is left to document. But for now, lets happily recount the last few days.

We left Prague on Monday the 28th of October at around 11AM for Budapest and with a tentative plan to visit Bratislava after Buttapest. Us leaving includes no less than three suitcases, six bags, and five coats. You can do the imagining of how many laptops, cameras, cords, cases...etc. go with that amount of luggage. A few hours into the drive the plan changed and now the harem is instead making a derailment to Vienna! We've been all over Europe by now and only one place has managed to make the steaks exactly correct. Why not have a steak stop in Vienna?2 After dinner some tasks ensue3 and we make it to the hotel in Budapest by 840PM. Did you follow all of that? Three countries in one day isin't so bad. The rest of the evening is spent performing militaresque unpacking, glove searching, and then rum - lot's of wonderfully spiced rum and coffee.

Yesterday, Wednesday October 30th, morning was spent with the intricacies of driving to breakfast and finding a parking spot in the over populated city. More parking garages please!4 After breakfast it was errands time, which included a stop at a few stores (one stop being to purchase Zubrowka cherry vodka, which until now we haven't been able to find outside of Poland.) and the local market. Such tasks brings us to the end of the day and thus in Budapest tradition - Kebabi time.5

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This retelling of the past few days has led us to this present moment. Tonight we pack and tomorrow we return to Romania. Despite the crying and cursing that has ensued over the last month (that we will necessarily get to later) I am sad that this portion of the trip is over. Fortunately for me, tomorrow I'll have another thousand words to reflect on my boring life. Until then I am off to buy a dozen apples and search for Hungarian vibrators. Oh you know...suck tasks. Wish me luck.

  1. Which also sparked a decree of me to write 1,000 words a day. Slavery isint conducive to free time, so as usual my first thoughts were filled with panic supported by reasons of how this won't be possible. If not curbed, these thoughts can become a slippery slope which leads right to the failure train. The only way to run out of time is to waste it. []
  2. It's a great place called the Porter House - across the street from the fantastic Goulash Museum which is next to De Capo Pizzeria. This is really the corner to come to if you are hungry without reservation in Vienna. []
  3. I was handling some phone business in a nearby mall. While living in the states, I never once physically went to a phone or internet providers location. Similar to a DMV you take a ticket and stand around until your number comes up. I take a ticket and breathe a little because I am number two in line. Still though, people love waiting in lines so to be sure I ask the guys ahead of me if I can switch. They decline my explanation of how I will be 10 minutes at the very most. Fine. Soon the fuck boys are called up (fuck boys as in how much pride they put in their 80 dollar sweatpants, the new fade, the shifty movements, and how much they lick their lips.) - apparently one got a new phone and its a big to do. I wait and fucking wait for this other dumble dick who has been camping at the register to move on. I get pissy and talk the guy into helping me and I am out of there. Still though, an unacceptable amount of time wasted. []
  4. You see my friends, I forgot Master's umbrella which necessarily meant that he needed to be dropped off at the door of what we'll call the breakfast palace. This caused me to drive past the one parking spot in a five block radius. From there the naive attempt was made to use a nearby parking garage with free spots! How lucky for a slave. Oh, but wait... this is a boat parking garage where a crane will pick up your car and carry it through a roller coaster of cars until it drops it on the right one. However, the dubious worker does guarantee (while laughing) that all you need to do in order to retrieve your car is: press the button while tugging on the rope only when the light is flashing and then turn the hanging wheel two turns to the left then four to the right. We would never leave Florimund in such a trap, but leaving also led us to crossing a bridge and further unpleasantness before finding a parking spot. []
  5. Hannah found the best place for kebabs and hummus in the city. Such a treat as Romania and Costa Rica has nothing like this. 1000words-14 This picture from the kebab place has been sentenced to the footnotes because of it's derpiness. []

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