Lost Lovage.

So, sometime ago my dad and uncle stood outside of my apartment and pounded while shouting about my grandma being in the hospital from falling. The apartment I rented in Chicago was built during the 20's. The walls are thick and I used to joke about how no one could hear a murder inside, but I could still hear their alarming screams. They were acting so erratic, but it wasn't inconceivable on that being their response if she fell. Both confirmed each others elaborate lies of how she had tripped going to get a book to read. Besides, what family members do you have that would lie about others you love being hurt (especially their own 80+ mother)? Turns out, the joke was on me and it was just a conspiracy by them in order execute their kidnapping plan (I didn't see it coming either..). My newly found mistrust came in a few different forms that day1.

Now a few months ago, a certain someone that I love came home and said he had sent away someone else that I love. I was hesitant to believe him at first because he seems to enjoy torturing me, but then we looked up the seven stages of grief together (due to my 'denial'). He told me I'd have to start then at baking bread because I'd need time to get it right and let me follow through with the task. He consoled me on how much it sucks to lose someone and allowed me to stay close while he napped. While we silently ate, I inspected his face and saw no sign of even the slightest smile. The hours went by - blocks built on each other and I crumbled into belief that I lost someone, yet again. I walked around the house in a daze of shock until sometime later I heard the familiar sound of a key in the door2.

Of course, these situations are different; however, they provoke the same feelings from me. Which is all it seems to be about anyways - provoking. Admittedly at 26, I don't know much about life so I'm unable to confirm if any of this actually matters. Right now, it does matter and I wonder if anyone else has lived through the cruelty of multiple joke losses.

In other news and to answer the question in the bulk of my emails, I'm alive and well!

I'm excited to share the last two months with you - until then.... I'm alive and well. Not enslaved against my will, in a cult, or brainwashed. Or maybe this is being written by a robot composed of pale parts.

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Alive, well, still a dork, but now with a goose!

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Other possible clever titles for this post were: dude wheres my grandma, title today gone tomorrow (see what I did there), taken 2: tookaning.

  1. I should probably celebrate this day every year, since I lost out on being able to celebrate so many peoples birthdays because of it. Maybe I'll bake a bitter cake and invite Liam Neeson. []
  2. This meant it could only be one person. Since for over two months I have not had keys to the door of the place that I live in. There are days I want to scream about how I had keys to my apartment, my car, the HR department, and my office. That being said, I also can't cut green onions or pick out celery root. []

2 Responses to “Lost Lovage.”

  1. WIBb46320 says:

    Your mother's favorite color was green.

    • nicoleci says:

      I'm not going to waste my time with an explanation of why this comment is obnoxious, offensive, and simple minded. I really don't feel confident that you'll understand an explanation. Congrats.

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