Things that happened last month.

By Nicole Renee

1) Purchased a pet fish at the local farmers market. I saved a weeks worth of colones and pushed my way through the 9 and under crowd. No, I wasn't high and yes, I was more excited than them. The fish that was chosen was pink and I carried it's plastic bag the two miles home. I named it Rosé and four hours later I found it dead between the oven and the fridge. We'll never know if it intentionally committed fish suicide or jumped too high.1

2) I got peed on by a dog. While wearing a never before worn dress, I suggested that we all hang out by the pool because it was such a nice day. The neighbor's dogs came by to get their pats on. I said my usual, "sup dog? I like your fur." Then suddenly, everyone was laughing and I was warm. Nope, no I've never heard of this happening to anyone, either.2

3) Pierced my ears. We were walking through San Jose on our way to the Manga Cafe. Master pointed out a piercing shop and without any planning or warning, I got my ears pierced. I had been avoiding this for years due to the pain and continued cost of buying new earrings. In hindsight, beatings prepare you for a lot more of life than you realize.

4) My 26th birthday. The only thing notable about turning 26 is that I am now 4 years away from 30. I wore my best school girl outfit for a night out to celebrate... Except that, the bar scene is so desperate in CR that we had to go to Hooters (which I had never been to before) and then when I asked where the party is, the waitress literally wrote down "home" (I appreciated her honesty because, I had been suspicious that this was the case for a while now). All was not lost, since I took the opportunity to school the waitresses on partying and expose my tits.

5) I beat down my first pinata. This was not a child-like carefree beating of a pinata - I was naked with an audience and also, the house I was beating the pinata down in is filled with fine liquor and breakables. Somehow my man hands managed to only break the pinata, which rained down homemade chocolate cookies and tampons. After all was done and destroyed, it was really exciting and I hope to have another Battle Royale next year.

And also, dicks & ducks!!




At 26, still Polish but less pale. Hmm.

  1. Bianca: omg im dying right now that is such bad luck and a new record
    we should get a cat together!!

    Harem: One fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Dead Fish?! []

  2. Too bad I can't notify the Philosophical Transactions of this account. []

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